Written by Max Loong, Assistant Marketing Manager - Reeracoen Singapore 

Picture this: You’ve spent the whole year focused and working hard towards your professional goals. Things are going smoothly, you’re meeting your targets, and team morale is high. Then you get hit with a negative review by your boss on your annual appraisal despite all indications that you are doing well. You suddenly find yourself in the hot seat – and your boss is telling you so to your face.

Heard of this happening to you or your peers before? Can this be a case of unfair criticism? So, what do you do now? Do you fight back or keep it in? Maybe your instincts might not be your best guide.

Whether you’re dealing with positive or negative feedback, how you react to it can have a huge impact on your career. Here are three steps on how you can deal with unfair criticisms at work, while still keeping yourself professional.

Step One: Keep calm, Listen, and clarify

Your immediate response is the most important one, so avoid responding emotionally by pausing for a moment. Breathe to calm yourself down and control your response. After settling yourself down, try to actually hear what is being said. What was the intent of the criticism?  

A good way is to ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand the criticism fully, for example: “You’ve said I’m not presenting a good attitude to members; can you describe exactly what was I doing wrong?”

If the critic is not willing to offer any specifics, you can make a guess too: “Was it the way I handled Peter when he arrived late for meetings?”

Being able to paraphrase what your critic says is also an important listening skill to pick up too: “When you say I have a bad attitude toward our members, it sounds like you think I’m not showing them the respect they deserve.”

Step Two: Open up both perspectives

Being able to get your critic to backtrack will help to facilitate a real and constructive discussion on your critique. To do this you need to willing to see things from the other person’s perspective. This establishes respect as a key element of the conversation.

Speak in a calm manner: “From my perspective” or “I can see how you might get that idea, but I probably haven’t properly explained that.”

Agreeing with the perception does not mean you accept your critic’s perception of you. Instead acknowledge their right to view the situation in a way, which differs from yours.

Step Three: Show appreciation, move on politely and act on it

Thanking your critic is as much for your peace of mind as it is theirs. By showing gratitude, you can start to calm your own instinctive reactions to all criticism and become more open to feedback.

Whether your critic accepts your clarifications or not, appreciate their criticisms and place your focus on future interactions.

Politely move on from this conversation: “That’s certainly something to think about going forward, and I appreciate the feedback.”

Let them know you are genuinely trying to do the best job possible: “I understand I haven’t lived up to your expectations on this. How can I do better next time?”

If you felt that the criticism was not constructive, help them manage how they present criticism in the most effective way to get the change they are after: “I would appreciate actionable points when you give feedback the next time.”

People who provide you with constructive feedback want you to achieve your goals. Even if it hurts to hear what you did wrong, remember their intentions, and thank the person who gave you constructive criticism for being an ally.

If you know the feedback is with good intentions and you are keen on doing so, the action is key. Work on how you can do better, and maybe ask the person if he/she can feedback on your second attempt.

What if it is really a negative and unfair criticism?

Most of these steps above apply to constructive criticism. Unfair and overly negative feedback is also used as a tool by bad managers and workplace bullies to demean and control others.

The wrong kind of criticism can be:

• Overly negative
• Personal attacks
• Unfair criticism for something that is outside if your control
• Delivered in an unpleasant way

If you are convinced that the critic is deliberate and without cause even after you tried the above methods, you might request a meeting with someone higher up the ladder.

The bottom line

It's natural to react strongly to unfair criticism, but this is rarely a wise career move.

Manage the immediate situation by remaining calm, clarify the criticisms that you received so that you understand them. You may realise that the criticism is based on a misunderstanding or a different perspective, in which case it is reasonably straightforward to clear the air. In more complicated situations, particularly when your critic is your boss, you will need to schedule a formal meeting to discuss the criticism.

As long as it is constructive, criticisms can be a gift because it gives you a chance to improve and learn.

 

Find out more about Reeracoen’s Career Consultation Services and how our Career Advisors can assist you in your career journey.